When we talk about relationships, the conversation can go in many directions because we have different perspectives about what a relationship can be. Is it casual, serious, long term, matter of convenience, one sided, mutual, or exclusive. Is it a fling, liaison or an  affair. Is it secret, open  or something different or, god forbid, a combination.

One of the most important questions we need to ask ourselves at some point is “What do we want from the relationship“? Knowing what we  want will guide us to develop in the relationship in a way that brings us happiness. One obvious variable here is whether our partner wants the same things as us.  It will be important that we understand their perspective and recognize their needs in the relationship. Being on the same page is important. The only way we get to know this is mutual communication and sharing of our feelings and emotions.

In order for the relationship to develop, it must be fueled with our emotions. We are ultimately looking for emotional intimacy. Both parties must be willing to share their emotions. Emotional intimacy can only be achieved with trust as the foundation. We must have trust in order to share and feel safe.

Sharing of our emotions brings closeness and understanding, It gives us a feeling of acceptance; acceptance for who I am; acceptance of me as I am. Sharing gets me the feeling that my partner cares deeply for me; would will be willing to help me in any way I asked and sharing provides a basis for open conversation of our deepest personal feelings and desires. Sharing ouremotions and deepest desires bring us closer, deepens the relationship, gives us affirmation and lets us know we are moving forward with a solid relationship.

The Power of our Emotions brings closeness and solidifies a special bond with our partner. We will only bring our emotions into the relationship if we feel safe. Opening up like this will leave us vulnerable and open to significant hurt and pain if we share too soon; share with the w or our sharing is one sided.

The sharing will likely be gradual for each of us. As we grow together and realize the relationship is providing us what we need,  we will begin to share and continue to share as we feel safer with our partner.

One of my favorite Songs by Sinatra was

“To Love and Be Loved”. 

To love – and be loved
That’s what life’s – all about
Keeps the stars – coming out
What makes a sad heart sing – the birds take wing
To love – and be loved

That’s what living – is for
Makes me want you the more – the more we cling
Let others race – to the moon
Through time and space – to the moon

My goal is greater than this
To reach your lips – to share your kiss
To stay – in your arms
Is the dream – I pursue

To be sheltered – and safe – from the storm
To be cozy – and ever – so warm
And for always – to love
And be loved – by you

Songwriters: J. Van Heusen / S. Cahn